The only person that can be relied on is yourself.
The way that I’ve been able to describe this to myself is as follows:
When you rely on someone, it is essentially the same thing as leaning on their shoulder or crying on their shoulder (whichever fits best in the circumstances of course).
When you rely on someone, there is a great chance that they will fail in supporting you, mostly because the majority of people have self-important personalities. By relying (leaning) on them, you give them the power to hold you up or let you fall.
By relying on yourself, the most trustworthy person you’ll ever know, you take the power in your hands. You have the sole responsibility of holding yourself up and taking the consequences when you fall.
On a tangent, it is not wrong to say that sometimes it is a decision between embracing the the heaviness or allowing that heaviness to crush you. It’s not always a bad thing to be crushed, it increases your stamina, but you’ll still feel it emotionally.
Back to the main idea though, I don’t think that relying on yourself is such a horrible strategy to get through life.
1. You won’t need to worry about how you are going to make it through on your own, because let’s face it, at some point in life we will have to deal with it on our own.
2. Self reliance hence allows yourself to be in control of your own life. (Cmon, don’t lie to yourself! At some point you’ve all leaned on someones shoulder and have gotten hurt because we put as much faith in them as we have in our own conscience).
I’ve recently been thinking about the idea of “it’s okay to lean on somebody. It’s okay to let go.” But I always find that “relying on somebody” has an underlying negative connotation. I could rely on someone and subject myself to their abuse of that power, or I can rely on myself and take responsibility for whatever happens.
That may just be why so many people rely on others; they’re afraid to take responsibility of their life, their actions, and ultimately their outcomes. Why are we so afraid? That’s the next question… though another thought for another time.
Constantly, many of us are facing these battles within ourselves and we rely on others to be there for us. Sometimes they’re there, and other times not so much. It’s great when they’re there, and when they’re not, we feel worthless.
Lately I’ve been relying on people more than usual, and I’ve noticed that I’ve changed. I used to be self-reliant, I had this confidence with me, I was in charge of myself and I could control the outcome (obviously to an extent).
But there is something about human nature that makes us want to rely on others. We want to feel important, and we want to feel that people care about us. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We all want it, we just don’t all seem to get it, and I’ll attest to that; life isn’t fair, but I suppose that it’s a heaviness we need some sort of reliance to compensate for. And just maybe that is the only reason why we need to rely on ourself and others at any given time. But I will vouch for the confidence and power that one gains from being self reliant, and nothing that can make you’re life feel more balanced and sturdy.
Lean on another’s shoulder when you have to, but don’t forget that you have shoulders to0, and they’re stronger than you think they might be.
#StrongShoulders #SelfReliance #IAmStrong