Haha, this is quite the prompt.
I’ve never had a bad break up per-say, but the two that I did go through were in fact very relieving. And they even broke up with me! However, to save a bit of their dignity, I will not disclose their names, that would make me just as bad as them. Before I start, I’m saying now that I am by no means an expert on how relationships work and I’m making inferences by what I’ve experienced. I’m not necessarily saying the two guys in this are bad people at all, they just weren’t good to me and they weren’t good for me. But I learned!
Any who, the first one I didn’t see for a month and the day I finally saw him I happened to be sick. I was so nervous I didn’t want to throw up in front of everyone so I immaturely stayed in the bathroom longer than I needed to. When I finally came out, he took me over to a secluded corner and asked me if I was sick OR nervous.. I said both because in my mind I was sick and I was nervous that I was going to puke in front of everyone. “You can’t lie to me like that!” He declared. Sorry, I wasn’t aware that my stomach’s opinion could lie, or that an answer only I knew could be a lie. Sorry it wasn’t about you buddy. But I just stood there in shock, I was 15 and he was the first “official” boyfriend I’d had, I didn’t know how to handle a situation like that. Then he grabbed my arm and said “let’s go”. We went outside…. It was snow and I was wearing a sleeveless dress. And oh no, the doors behind us magically locked and he had no idea?! Highly doubtful. The next thing he said to me was also shocking, but it didn’t register on the ‘RUN AWAY’ radar until later. “I know it’s cold, we’ll have to walk around the building to get to the other door….. (under his breath) you have to learn your lesson somehow.” Excuse me!! (include profanities here!) What kind of jerk does that? I’m not saying I handled the situation well by any means, I shouldn’t have hid for that long. But how did I lie by saying I was sick and nervous? And I needed to be punished like a child for it? Even throughout the month he kept complaining to people how I was asking him to do stuff for me like my homework…. which I didn’t. We didn’t even go to the same school and he was a grade above me. I really should’ve been the one to say it, but I didn’t know how and I knew he would do it soon anyway. And what do you know? A couple days after that incident he texted me saying it was the end. It was relieving.. but a text? Really? I feel bad for the girl who ends up him.
Onto the second relieving moment a year later. This guy, I said yes and immediately knew I had made a mistake. But it’s not like I could take it back right there; he was so excited, I’m not that heartless. He changed from who I was asked out by, to whomever he thought the ‘perfect boyfriend’ should be. He hugged me in the most awkward of ways.. Guys, if you hug your girlfriend and you don’t know how, around the waist is a safe bet-not her neck, DO NOT CHOKE HER (even if it’s unintentionally). He’d ask to hold my hand but like this “holds out hand with a ridiculous smirk on his face) heyyy, heyy, wanna, wanna?”…. another thing guys, don’t ask to hold a girls hand, JUST DO IT! He’d flirt with me at the most inappropriate times (and because it was wrong, it was an inappropriate all the time). We had the strangest conversations, and I found myself avoiding him as much as I could. But that wasn’t all. He was also some freaky genius who ended up going to college early. But the thing is that I found out about his ego.. he sincerely thought I was dumb because he was so smart, and he wasn’t afraid to tell/show me. I was sitting in class one day doing some algebra homework and he cam up, “do you need help with that?” “No” “Are you sure?” “Yes” “It looks like you’re doing it wrong, let me look” “I’m fine, I don’t need your help” “You do need hel……..”he never finished that sentence, but he didn’t need to for me to see what he was doing. And not to mention I got a perfect score on that homework assignment that I was apparently doing wrong, and without his help! We also got paired up for a group assignment and he wouldn’t let me use the book. So he handed in a complete assignment and I handed mine in a day late… a group assignment, I always thought meant you worked together to find answers, not “one person does all the work because the other one will never get it” and if not sharing responsibility for the answers, at least share the freaking book! It’s like he wanted to be the alpha-male smarter, better person, he was actually mad at me because he wouldn’t share the book. Well all this went on in the course of one month. The worse he got the more intolerable I purposefully became. I wanted out but I wanted to give him the pleasure of making the move.. So finally! After successfully avoiding him for a few days, he tracked me down and said “we need to talk.” I said “okay” in the most pleasant voice-this was it! It was finally going to happen! The funny part was that he told me ever so delicately that “this isn’t working” as if I’d be upset about it. To even my surprise, I let out a huge sigh of relief and before I could think I blurted out, “oh thank god!” I didn’t look at his face but as soon as I said it I knew I hit 10 on the Jerk Scale. I didn’t mean to, I was just so relieved, it was like a boulder lifted off of my shoulders.. no person should ever be in a relationship that’s a burden. So we both scurried off in our separate ways. Me a bit faster than him. The rest of the school year he kept trying to impress me with knowing things and joining into conversations awkwardly just to talk to me. Clearly he wasn’t happy breaking up with me. I had no interest obviously, so guys the one thing that you must learn, as hard as it is to accept, take a hint. Honestly, when a girl isn’t interested, we don’t find it attractive if you keeping trying, we find it creepy and disgusting. Oh and at least know the girl’s interests before you go trying to outsmart and show her up to impress her (and by the way, that’s not the way to impress her); I have always been strong in English, knowing the rules and techniques, just everything about it. And he just tried to tell me something that even the dictionary told him he was wrong about. I quickly learned that “smart” people are NOT smart in everything. Anyway, the last few days of school arrived and I did my final project for that class, it was only him and the teacher too. After I was finished a friend came in to get me and and she told me after we left that he looked at me like he didn’t want me to go… psht.
I’ll be honest I wish they didn’t count as boyfriends, they make me shudder in disgust. But technically they asked me out, technically I said yes, but not much-if anything-happened and when stuff did happen it was awful. I felt bad being the “heart-breaker”, so I let them do it because I know I wouldn’t be hurt by it.
Fast-forward to the fall after the second guy. I met someone else, the spring before and we just recently began dating. The second guy magically appears in the lobby, visiting from college, awkward eye contact occurs but I was glad I was leaving with the one I actually liked. The second guy was at prom too. I didn’t make eye contact or talk to him, but it was just awkward knowing he was there right next to me and especially since he never got over me. Oh well, haha.
I’d like to point out that the first two guys lasted each a month, if that. And the guy I’m with now, we’re going on 2 years. So ladies, don’t be afraid to wait for someone whom you’re positive you want to be with. If something feels wrongs, don’t convince yourself “I’ll give it some time, I’ll give him a chance, it could get better.” It won’t. As much as we don’t want first impressions to have any impact, they do. Plus, it’s a horrible dating mechanism to say yes to someone you barely know, mistake learned! If you’re not comfortable (especially in the beginning) it’s not right. Everyone deserves a person who makes them happy. It’s not a magical princess feeling, but the right person will have you relieved that you’re finally with them.